TRUST IN YOU

When the Lord is trying to get an important point across, He seems to spare no measures.

The first time I heard Lauren Daigle's new song, "Trust In You", I fell in love with it. In fact, it brought tears to my eyes because it hit so close to home. 

When You don't move the mountains

I'm needing You to move

When You don't part the waters

I wish I could walk through

When You don't give the answers

As I cry out to You

I will trust, I will trust

I will trust in You

    

There were three things I was earnestly praying for. A relationship/family situation that felt as impossible as a mountain that can only be moved by God. A new path that I am sure the Lord has put in my heart to pursue but the process of getting there requires new doors to be open - God will have to part the waters. And finally, a health issue that has made me cry out for deliverance. While I sang 'I will trust in You", sometimes, I still wonder if I am truly putting all my trust in Him or still praying for things to turn out the way I want to. 

Last Friday, I got rear-ended in traffic. I was not hurt and the back bumper suffered only minor damage. Thankfully, the other party had insurance. Apparently 50% of drivers in Hawaii don't have insurance so I was very happy that this lady did. And my insurance company said they will not fault me. I was talking to my ex-in-laws and said "I wonder why this happened. The Lord must want me to know that He is taking care of me." I knew that already, I thought but did I really, fully believe that.  

At the same time, my devotion the last few weeks have been on the topic of 'Trust'. This Sunday, one word stuck out: 'Commit'. We are to commit ourselves, our soul, our way, our task, our work and our burden on Him. 

On the same day, the pastor talks about the faithfulness of God. Even Christians go through difficult times. Look at the prophets. Jeremiah was so angry he wanted to stop being a prophet. Job was so faithful but lost everything but yet he never abandoned his faith. How many of us are going through difficult times silently? Yep, me, I thought.

Little did I know (though I should have known) He was preparing me for Monday morning. The bit of news I received was devastating. While I knew that it could have been the case, having it come from a professional knowledgeable about it spins a different dimension and reality starts to set in. So this is what You have been preparing me for. 

Suddenly, what I thought I was crying out for really got amplified. What's worse is that mountain just grew bigger and stronger. And will I be able to go down that road He wants me to without being resentful and angry if He parts the water? 

I have done much crying the last two days. At first I was angry. And sometimes satan creeps in and I feel condemnation, where old words I've spewed haunt me. 

The Lord is amazing. If He has not prepared me this last few weeks, I would not have been able to kick satan's tactic to the curb. My anger subsided quickly. I have no resentment. And most importantly, I have 'commit'. Truly, the situation is out of my control now. He knows my needs and the desires of my heart. I'm still sad, yes, but I've just been curling up at His feet, knowing that His love will comfort me. 

My wonderful sister in Christ reminded me that this is not the end. The doctor is only stating the facts. He does not know the truth. The Lord does. She doesn't have to remind me that the Lord can do anything He wants. We do not know the end. Look at Job, what happened in chapter 42? He got back everything and more. She reminded me that could be me. I laughed because that's what the pastor said too - in the end, Job got back everything and more. 

Believe me, I am no Job. His faithfulness knows no bounds. I am a work in progress. I am determined to walk His way when He parts the water. I am ready. But I am still afraid and still sad. As I continue to walk, I'm going to have to lean on Jesus, and spend many more days and nights at His feet. But Job's ending does give me encouragement and comfort that the Lord loves me and He has a better plan for me. 

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Amen. 

Messing with Danger

When we do something dangerous, do we expect God to bail us out?

Last weekend, I did something both dangerous and foolish. Not on purpose because anyone who knows me knows that I'm risk averse. I was in such a hurry that I left the house with the stove on. It would probably have been okay if there was nothing cooking on it but a kettle of water was on it. 

I didn't even realize I had done that till it was time to come home. I panic of course. Thinking I could have started a fire. Scolding myself for doing something so stupid and dangerous. I ran to the car and probably drove faster than I normally would coming up the hill, praying fervently all the way home. 

Definitely relieved to see the building still standing but who knows what the inside looks like so I rushed up the stairs. As soon as I open the front door, I smell the horrible burning stench. Ran to the kitchen, quickly turn the stove off. I tried to move the kettle off the stove but it wouldn't budge, having fused to the burning element. It would take several hours before I could finally detach the kettle. The immediate danger is over but the enamel from the kettle that had fused to the burning element kept popping and flying all over the kitchen. 

I was very fortunate that that was the extend of damage. No doubt the Lord bailed me out. This could have turned out to be a lot worse. Lessons I learned from this episode?

1. Pay attention. While I've never left the stove on ever, I did this time because I was distracted while rushing leaving the house.

2.God is faithful. Even in dangerous situations, we can always count on Him. Our house could have burned down but it didn't. The kitchen could have been destroyed but it didn't. I believe it's only because God saved the situation.

3. The most important lesson: Keep in close contact with God. When we keep in touch with God everyday, it becomes natural to turn to God when we are faced with danger. As soon as I realized that I did something dangerous and stupid, besides running to the car so I can rush home, I started praying. The old me - it probably would have been much latter that I turn to God - probably after panicking and getting worried sick, possibly losing my mind. I think I was a lot more calmer this time. 

4. Don't deliberately do anything dangerous or foolish. 

Basking in Blessings

Have you ever had one of those days where you feel like God's goodness and blessings are just overflowing? Well, I had one of those yesterday.
 

I had decided to take the bus instead of driving downtown yesterday. But I was going to park my car by the bus stop. I don't normally like to park too close to other vehicles. Let's just say I've had some bad experiences with dings etc. Before you judge me, I don't worship my car but it is a lease and the least possibility I have to fix anything when I return it, the better it is. Back to the parking spot, I found one in the shade in the very corner of the lot that would have a small chance of getting dinged. Blessing #1.

While waiting for the bus, one man waiting at the bus stop was looking like he was possessed. He was cursing and screaming up a storm, very agitated, pacing back and forth. Obviously, many passengers were uncomfortable. My first reaction was anxiety - please don't let him get on the same bus as me. Wrong prayer. Of course, he got on the same bus as me. And he had to take the seat in front of me. This time, I prayed that God would remove whatever that's making this man react that way - weather he was possessed or just having a bad day. Please calm him down and give him peace. This time, prayer worked. The man settled down and even went to sleep. Blessing #2. 

I got to my dentist office early and was fully prepared to wait for my turn. But lo and behold, my dental hygienist, Ariel, was ready for me. Even though my dentist and dental hygienist are really awesome, any dental procedures would be nerve-wrecking. I have been worried that the procedure was going to be long and painful but Ariel told me we will be done in 40 minutes - way shorter than I expected! Blessing #3. 

I was trying to meet up with a close friend for lunch. We live on opposite ends of the island and hardly get together but she had told me earlier, she would have to go lunch early. And since my appointment was going to be done early, I was able to set-up lunch at 11:30. So perfect timing and shall I say, Blessing #4. 

Lunch was at Mandalay. I have not been there for awhile and am very picky about Chinese food since I'm Chinese and grew up eating fantastic Chinese food at home. Was a little skeptical that the food here would meet standard. The other worry I have is whether I could even eat anything because the numbness from the anesthetic has not fully wore off. What a bummer, I thought. But, as I started drinking the hot tea, I could feel the numbness going away. Not sure if the hot tea helped but I could actually eat better than I had expected. Blessing #5.

And the dim sum we ordered was really good. The crust on the egg tart was super flaky. The food definitely met standard. Blessing #6. 

After lunch, I stopped by the department's office and got to review the course material I was going to teach that night. When I got to the classroom, about an hour before class, it was empty. No class was scheduled before mine so I had all the time in the world to set-up for class. The AV equipment worked. And it was a huge classroom. Blessing #7

Class was supposed to end at 8:40 but since it was the first class and really most of them look like they were done by 8:25 so I let them go early. I didn't think I was going to be able to make the express bus at 8:50 but I did, which meant I got back to my side of town at 9:30pm instead of 10:10pm if I had taken the slow bus. Blessing #8

My car was still there. Did not get towed. Blessing #9


This last one is the best one of the day. Pastor Saeed Abedini had been released and returned from Iran. Today, he was interviewed on national TV. I had spoken to my ex-mother-in-law this morning and we were just praising God. He hears our prayers and He blesses those who are faithful. Blessing #10

After a day like that - a day of basking in His goodness and blessings, I just have to remind myself that He does love me and watches over me. Sometimes, we are so caught up with the things that are not going well or not what we expected that we fail to see and count the blessings. 

I am writing this blog post so that when I start to complain, I want to come back and read and remember that there were days where I could not have asked for more abundance of blessings.

God's Awesomeness!

Today's theme: God's Awesomeness. 


My friend and sister in the Lord, Keisha, inspired this post today. We've been praying about something together. And today, the Lord answered our prayer. Let's just say it was  a small miracle, which prompted her to praise the Lord for His awesomeness in always being there. Like she said, "He keeps us from the valley and hides us from the rain."

Everyday, I'm reminded of his awesomeness and it always amazes me. Through my devotion and the inspired music I hear on K-Love, I am always learning something about His love, mercy and compassion. And I am so blessed to be on the receiving end of this. 

This week, my devotion has been centered on the theme of kindness and compassion. Ironically, or not, it was tested today at work. I got really frustrated at someone and vented to my boss as well as to Keisha. As soon as I sent off those words, I realized i just failed! I just did the opposite of what the Lord told me to do. I should have had kindness but instead I got upset at the person. 

I prayed for kindness and compassion. And thought I had come some ways with being kind and compassionate - let's just say these are not my strongest characteristics. And really, didn't think I would fail as soon as I was put to the test. Of course, God in his great awesomeness, sends me Keisha, who says that I have not fail yet. "You can't fail a test that has not been closed out yet. Move to the next one and answer it right," she says. 

Thank you Lord for a great friend. Thank you Lord for the test so I know I need to continue to pray for compassion and kindness. Thank you Lord for the encouraging message you sent through a sister. And thank you Lord for showing us though Jesus what compassion and kindness should be.