When the Lord is trying to get an important point across, He
seems to spare no measures.
The first time I heard Lauren Daigle's new song, "Trust
In You", I fell in love with it. In fact, it brought tears to my eyes
because it hit so close to home.
When You don't move the mountains
I'm needing You to move
When You don't part the waters
I wish I could walk through
When You don't give the answers
As I cry out to You
I will trust, I will trust
I will trust in You
There were three things I was earnestly praying for. A
relationship/family situation that felt as impossible as a mountain that can
only be moved by God. A new path that I am sure the Lord has put in my heart to
pursue but the process of getting there requires new doors to be open - God
will have to part the waters. And finally, a health issue that has made me cry
out for deliverance. While I sang 'I will trust in You", sometimes, I
still wonder if I am truly putting all my trust in Him or still praying for
things to turn out the way I want to.
Last Friday, I got rear-ended in traffic. I was not hurt and the
back bumper suffered only minor damage. Thankfully, the other party had
insurance. Apparently 50% of drivers in Hawaii don't have insurance so I was
very happy that this lady did. And my insurance company said they will not
fault me. I was talking to my ex-in-laws and said "I wonder why this
happened. The Lord must want me to know that He is taking care of me." I
knew that already, I thought but did I really, fully believe that.
At the same time, my devotion the last few weeks have been on
the topic of 'Trust'. This Sunday, one word stuck out: 'Commit'. We are to
commit ourselves, our soul, our way, our task, our work and our burden on Him.
On the same day, the pastor talks about the faithfulness of God.
Even Christians go through difficult times. Look at the prophets. Jeremiah was
so angry he wanted to stop being a prophet. Job was so faithful but lost
everything but yet he never abandoned his faith. How many of us are going
through difficult times silently? Yep, me, I thought.
Little did I know (though I should have known) He was preparing me
for Monday morning. The bit of news I received was devastating. While I knew
that it could have been the case, having it come from a professional
knowledgeable about it spins a different dimension and reality starts to set
in. So this is what You have been preparing me for.
Suddenly, what I thought I was crying out for really got
amplified. What's worse is that mountain just grew bigger and stronger. And
will I be able to go down that road He wants me to without being resentful and
angry if He parts the water?
I have done much crying the last two days. At first I was angry.
And sometimes satan creeps in and I feel condemnation, where old words I've
spewed haunt me.
The Lord is amazing. If He has not prepared me this last few
weeks, I would not have been able to kick satan's tactic to the curb. My anger
subsided quickly. I have no resentment. And most importantly, I have 'commit'.
Truly, the situation is out of my control now. He knows my needs and the
desires of my heart. I'm still sad, yes, but I've just been curling up at His
feet, knowing that His love will comfort me.
My wonderful sister in Christ reminded me that this is not the
end. The doctor is only stating the facts. He does not know the truth. The Lord
does. She doesn't have to remind me that the Lord can do anything He wants. We
do not know the end. Look at Job, what happened in chapter 42? He got back
everything and more. She reminded me that could be me. I laughed because that's
what the pastor said too - in the end, Job got back everything and more.
Believe me, I am no Job. His faithfulness knows no bounds. I am
a work in progress. I am determined to walk His way when He parts the water. I
am ready. But I am still afraid and still sad. As I continue to walk, I'm going
to have to lean on Jesus, and spend many more days and nights at His feet. But
Job's ending does give me encouragement and comfort that the Lord loves me and
He has a better plan for me.
Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you,”
declares the Lord, “plans to
prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Amen.
